I turned around to see who it was,who obviously knew us and had shouted a greeting.  I  was walking….carefully……..with my trusty husband,along the street, to go to the shop’s, husband..Andy had turned around too. There was a bit of an awkward moment……balance wise,I don’t have much! It’s easily lost when my counter weight (husband) gets distracted.

Neither of us recognised the young man,then we realised he was speaking, quite loudly, to someone on his mobile phone.

We encountered a couple more youths,  ignoring the world,and speaking loudly to an unseen body, on the other end of a mobile phone.

Sadly, we see young mums pushing pushchairs with their young offspring  on board for a nice country walk , ignoring the scenary and the child, giving all their attention to the mobile phone.

One of the the most disappointing things was, whilst we were walking at Wembury Point,a local beauty spot,overlooking the Channel…English Channel,  sunshine twinkling off the water,blue,cloudless sky and kestrals treading (whatever the air equivalent is) the air, a young toddler was desperately trying to get his mother’s attention but she was too engrossed in her phone. I couldn’t help thinking she’d regret that….So soon he’ll be grown-up.

Perhaps I don’t understand, I  too have a mobile phone,but I  can’t see the importance of using it whilst I’m out and about. To be honest, I don’t think I could talk on the phone and walk,I  have to concentrate on staying upright, cos of the balance imbuggerance. I have grown up in a different time,and well,it’s not unusual to criticise the younger generation …….it’s my job! I do think modern technology stops  folk noticing life going on….shouldn’t there be some kind of balance?




It doesn’t have to be like this!

Have you ever wondered why you suddenly feel so miserable.

I’m not talking clinical depression or other actual illness. I mean one minute it’s all perfectly, normal,happy,everyday life, then you turn on the television and within a couple  of  minutes, doom and gloom reigns.

Why does it seem so necessary for major sellers, to convince you to buy something through fear and dread? Surelyit doesn’t have to be like this?,

Personally, I’m more likely to buy something if I  feel happier.

I no longer buy newspapers, I don’t trust anything they say anyway, and I  don’t like the way they make me feel…..I so easily get upset. We don’t have the news on,  for the same reasons…..ever. but I still know what’s going on…..kind of,well I’m informed, I couldn’t have a conversation about it(not without crying anyway).

I recently heard, ‘there is more kindness than cruelty in the world’, more good things happen than bad,and there was another cheery thing too……..but I can’t remember it. What I’m trying to say is we only get a one sided view, so we all think the world is more inhospitable than it actually is.  Maybe we should all ignore the media, and I’m including all the rubbish posted on social media etc .

….and instead listen to our hearts, cos I think most of them are just fabulous!

Change of address.

My youngest son and his girlfriend, have just had their offer on a house accepted. I feel both happy and anxious for them. I  remember how stressful it all is, though actually I don’t feel stress this time, probably cos it’s not me moving….but all the same I don’t want them to have let downs or upsets. Being organised…..thats how to do it. The first time I moved I was in a right kerfuddled. Loads of boxes, all unmarked…..couldn’t find a kettle, milk cups, sheets, towels….nothing,and three hours in and getting tearful,grubby and tired -I just wanted a cup of tea, a bath and a good sleep. Both my sons were young Blake being four years old accepted everything and got on with it…….Luke was just a baby but I’d had the foresight to get organised with his stuff,with all his equipment being stuffed into a ‘Mothercaŕe’ changing bag.I was very late to bed that night. Then I learnt to  pack special survival boxes,with tea making equipment..and biscuits  got to be chocolate digestives ,bed making and bath stuff,oh and toilet rolls,lets not belittle their importance! And mark the boxes.Now it’s difficult to get a mortgage, they need a hefty deposit and repayments are practically their wages…..it does make me wonder why its so expensive these days? I mean we all need shelters,so why?Though we lived through a time houses got repossessed…..as indeed ours was. I wonder now if it was meant to happen….for the best I mean? The house I’ve ended up with,I  completely love.

Doctor online contd.

……sorry meant to save but accidentally published…..So many lovely buttons!

Anyway……I  was diagnosed with an ovarian tumor at twenty eight years,  which I didn’t even need treatment for, it was all encapsulated. In fact I recovered so fast and so well, all my Doctors were surprised. That’s marvellous but it did leave me with a lasting anxiety……I mean ANXIETY about my health.

Now any little symptom is checked, then double checked online, and I always think it’s the worst possible thing.

Of course, I’m not the only one who does this,but I would like to stop. Yet,we hear horror stories about  so anď so who suddenly  dropped dead,but we aren’t told the whole story cos it’s less sensational..not so gossip worthy.

Common sense should prevail, we have to remember _more good things happen than bad…….we don’t get told about them,of course.  But on a daily basis, it’s true!We really weren’t designed to live off bad news……and the more we hear it. and believe it_the worse our health becomes!

A Doctor once said, ‘if it sounds like a horse and looks like a horse, it’s probably a horse!


Doctor online

Dunno about you, but I  tend to check my health symptoms online. Of course it’s a stupid thing to do, it leaves me worried, depressed and helpless. When I  finally get to the Doctor  and get diagnosed with something far less dramatic than I thought,  I’m left feeling part relieved and part feeling, ‘no faith in the Doctor  ‘.

It’s so easy to  simply check your symptoms online,as much as Doctors don’t like you to diagnose yourself….quite rightly! They do actively encourage you to look online for information or even different  treatments.

So realistically,  it’s perfectly understandable people self diagnose.

The real problem is self medication.  With a  Doctors diagnoses or not. I wouldn’t have the guts to take anything I hadn’t bought in a chemists, I’m a little bit dubious about supermarket medicine……no offence….it’s just me.

So where is our health system heading, now you can even consult a Doctor online. I am confused by how things are going.

I’m beginning to wish I’d worked harder at school, so I could have had the qualifications to be a Doctor.

Though I do realise I wouldn’t like the hours, or responsibility,  or the training……Well, everything actually…….forget I even mentioned it!


Does anyone else have trouble with the word ‘perfect’? Well, not the word itself, but the definition…..the bit that says ‘flawless’ or ‘faultless’? I like the word ‘perfect’, I use it a lot, it’s a good word! When I look at nature, it’s completely perfect….flaws and all. So that being said must mean that some flaws are perfect too!

What often happens, I think, is that the ‘flawless’, ‘faultless’ state that people chase…….thinking it’s perfection, doesn’t exist-nor does the word that describes this state.

I use ‘perfect’ to mean, ideal, as good as it’s possible to be. It’s a lovely word. In fact the more I use it, the happier and more content I am, I don’t feel the stress I used to feel, just to try and be good enough!

Without realising I’ve found perfect, and it was right in front of me the whole time……of course there are things I want to change, but things are as good as they possibly can be at this moment in time.

I’d like to be able to say I’m happy, smiley and content all the time…………but I’m human ( or so I’ve been told). There’s still much that upsets me, or I wish weren’t happening or happened…..it’s a working progress or is it work in progress. But when I get a grip and freely use the ‘P’ word it does elevate my mood.

What makes me feel sad, is people feeling bad about themselves, striving to be ‘perfect’ without realising they already are!




Lately i’ve been thinking a lot about my Dad. We didn’t have a close relationship, or much of a relationship,  at all, if I’m honest.

My Dad, Albany Louis……..good name eh? why he was named after a place in America, is beyond me  , born and grew up on Dartmoor….in a house ,of course. He was rather chuffed to have been born in the same year as the actor James Stewart, and in later years assured his mortality was secured because James Stewart was still alive.

He was a great believer in fresh air and exercise, as a child he’d walk several miles across the moor in all weathers, to go to school. It made him ‘hale and hearty’,and he didn’t suffer ill health, obviously he did because he died but not until he was almost ninety.

I didn’t appreciate his knowledge of the natural world at the time, I wanted modern technology and the bustle of the city, but now, I think, it’s unbelievably priceless. He could recognise birds from their song, he knew what the weather was going to do, by sniffing the air, and detecting the direction of the wind. He could fix anything or certainly have a go. He taught himself many skills, including how to drive.  There was a time – in his eighties he drove round a roundabout the wrong way , luckily the roundabout was empty, though I was fair shook up, and no mistake! Actually one of his many jobs was as a bus driver, he drove the hospital bus, where I nursed and where he met my mother. Although, he did charm a couple of owls…..he could imitate owl hoots by blowing into his cupped hands. He showed me but as usual, I wasn’t paying attention.

He believed in simple health remedies, he once boiled up a pan of stinging nettles so he could drink the juice, which is disgusting apparently! I don’t quite know what to say……..but I saw  him walk passed my bedroom window (we lived in a bungalow, that Dad built….. he wasn’t a giant!) with a dandelion flower he was munching on……. he’d heard it was good for you. Mostly he used a chinese remedy, I think it was called ‘Flowers’ maybe? It stunk the house out!

During the war -WWII, he was an engine mechanic,  in the Royal Air Force ,mostly worked on spitfires. He loved planes and like birdsong, he could identify the plane by the sound of the engine. He saw unexplainable things in the night sky, as have I, so he kept an open mind…..and read some books, maybe strange books but who am I to say?

He was definitely a character, known by the villagers as Bert ….(the builder), he did a lot of building work and was always ‘tinkering’ and busy, I really quite admire him now and although genetically I’ve only inherited the uncontrollable giggles…..and an interest in the night sky, I’m quite proud to have the snippets of information he passed to me………that now make sense.


I grew up thinking cats were not to be trusted, to be feared. They would bite, scratch, or gobble you up with their witch friends. Of course this was brought to me by my mum, who would have probably liked cats but for her mum……..who by all accounts had a phobia.

When I grew up (apparently) and started nursing,one of my fellow nurses loved all things feline. Now, I grew up in Devon in a time wild cats were common, though not now. This nurse…..who loved cats, decided that something should be done for these poor creatures and set about catching them, well,those that lived around our hospital ward…..in the stunning green countryside of Devon. Not all wild cats!

We all took turns in cat-catching, simply to get them neutered, checked over and re-released. I too joined in, though I didn’t look directly at them! In conversation….years later, about two! I mentioned to this girl that cats scared me a bit.

“Ha-ha,” said she “You should get one.”

More years past, about ten and Esme came into my life, a tiny little bit of white and tabby fur. I would carry her around, she would take a nap in the pocket of my sweater, snuggle into my neck, scramble up the curtains, ascend the christmas tree without dislodging a bauble (well, maybe once, she gave one a swipe , because it had looked at her wrong).

She gave birth to three lovely kittens……. we kept them all. Then got her spayed. Yes we shut that stable door after the horse had bolted.

Loiter, Mort and Twisk, the joy and heartache they all brought.

Mort was the wiry thug, he had real attitude. He was born ready to fight and would take no ‘lip’ from anyone…..man or beast.

Loiter a big black bruiser of a cat. Twice the size of Esme-hence his name, she had trouble giving birth to him. The softest, gentle-ist cat I’ve ever met.

Twisk-named after a character in a book, Twisk was a wayward fairy. She was the most loving of cats. Loved the song ‘Blue moon’. Very vocal in a purry sort of way.

Of course I know now what that nurse meant, I think maybe you have to have one to understand that ‘love’. Cats are so affectionate, understanding, companionable…….if you get one that is ……….but whatever they get under your skin. They do kind of put a spell on you, but it’s probably just science.


I don’t know when it started, maybe i was born with it. I have this thing for buttons….is it like an addiction? or like a desire? Maybe it’s just a perfectly normal complusion?

If there’s an innocent looking button that instructs you DO NOT PRESS,  I absolutely have to know why.

I don’t go around activating fire alarms or anything, but the compulsion to do so is incredibly strong. (By the way the fire officer we had whilst I was nursing,  used to lecture us about fire safety……..couldn’t pronounce his F’s, he also had severe burn scars…..just saying.) Anyway we’ve established all buttons need a good pressing, at least once in their lives, otherwise there is no point to there existence. Which brings me neatly to the ‘what look like credit/bank card machines’ that parcel delivery folk and home shopping delivery people carry. After having had my shopping delivered, I was handed this machine and asked to scribble in the box, so that’s exactly what i did…..what can I say, I didn’t realise he meant signature. We all laughed, me too, I love laughing, I just didn’t know why. The mood kind of changed because I’d accidentally  pushed a button.   “Oi don’t push them”!

Oh dear, it was an unfortunate thing to say to me, the button had been so pushable………. some buttons have more press factor than others. So suddenly over taken with an obsessional impishness-becoming of a two year old….. I pressed a button and it really was satisfying.

Lap tops are probably the best. Anyone that types fast,  at a computer, people that hit the buttons confidently, and if there’s a jingly-jangly bracelet involved all the better.Shops cash registers, calculators, all part of life’s little pleasures.


There are those that drive and those that are driven. I’m definitely  the latter. I don’t mean I have to be chauffeured in a ‘Driving Miss Daisy’ sort of way. I just never got the hang of it. At eighteen years I had lessons from a professional driving instructor but I just couldn’t even figure out the basics, things everyone else would say is obvious, like driving down hill and feeling terrified about the speed but failing to think about the option to brake. Indicators……? well it helps if you actually know left from right, then you have to learn how to flash the  left indicator and the right. I never got that, often indicating left but turning right _very dangerous! Ooops! Turning the steering wheel whilst reversing? are you having a laugh? Three foot pedals………two feet! Who doesn’t get mesmerised by wind screen wipers? …….and apparently if you stare at something, you’ll hit it.

I took a driving test once, I know ……..beggers believe. Even on the day of my test I felt very unready_ that yellow criss cross box thing, the one that’s painted at junctions_on the roads….. whats that about? Ha_ I preempted the examiner’s emergency stop and kangarooed up the street braking sharply every time he moved. I’d heard the examiners were very keen on trying to catch you out on proper use of the rear view mirror,so i paid particular attention to what was behind me. Unfortunately I had no idea what was in front. EMERGENCY STOP!

Needless to say I failed the test!

I really admire people that can drive….oh I know it all comes natural after a while, my instructor said it ‘would all click into place’ ……..um…..I didn’t click, flick or whoosh!

I continued to have driving practice for years with my nearest and dearest……not recommended.

I gave it up as a bad job when giggling…….a lot, I mounted the kerb outside the police station and bumped our heads on the roof…….still laughing.

So sleep well fellow worlder’s the roads are much safer cos I’m not on them.